Continuing from my previous post on "What is "normal" when it comes to sex?"... what is normal when it comes to solo sexual activity?
I'll try not to be too graphic so younger ones can read this, but do know that the topic and some of the words involved may be triggery. You may need to have them read only specific parts of this article if you think it contains something they need to hear. Again, proceed with caution.
So, back to masturbation... yes it's normal, and yes your body is hard-wired for it. Your trauma, society, religion, values, and other outside pressures may have changed your perception of when and if, and how often masturbation is acceptable. Many MPD systems begin to fight over this topic... because of their differences in opinions, past experiences, and what they've been taught. The biggest concern when one alter begins to masturbate, and has different beliefs and reactions than the others who are aware of it, is figuring out if what they want to do and why they want to do it is healthy for them and the body.
There's several things to look at to determine if the desire and behavior is "healthy" (including meaning safe to people inside, safe to the body, and safe to the mental health of the system as a whole).
So that brings us to the first question... how much is too much? I like this graph from http://fivethirtyeight.com/ that pulls out the data from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior research on this topic:
Remember, this is what people reported they did. It doesn't really tell you what is healthy, just what the people answering the questions reported doing. What is healthy for you and your body depends on several things:
How do you being to figure out if your sexual activity patterns are healthy or might be unhealthy? That's my next article... "How do you try to define "healthy"sexual habits?"
I'll try not to be too graphic so younger ones can read this, but do know that the topic and some of the words involved may be triggery. You may need to have them read only specific parts of this article if you think it contains something they need to hear. Again, proceed with caution.
So, back to masturbation... yes it's normal, and yes your body is hard-wired for it. Your trauma, society, religion, values, and other outside pressures may have changed your perception of when and if, and how often masturbation is acceptable. Many MPD systems begin to fight over this topic... because of their differences in opinions, past experiences, and what they've been taught. The biggest concern when one alter begins to masturbate, and has different beliefs and reactions than the others who are aware of it, is figuring out if what they want to do and why they want to do it is healthy for them and the body.
There's several things to look at to determine if the desire and behavior is "healthy" (including meaning safe to people inside, safe to the body, and safe to the mental health of the system as a whole).
So that brings us to the first question... how much is too much? I like this graph from http://fivethirtyeight.com/ that pulls out the data from the National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior research on this topic:
Remember, this is what people reported they did. It doesn't really tell you what is healthy, just what the people answering the questions reported doing. What is healthy for you and your body depends on several things:
- Age/Life Changes: The older your get, usually the less frequently you masturbate. Why? Well the hormone shock of teenage and early 20s settles out. With women there's another drop in masturbation if sex becomes more uncomfortable due to pain or dryness brought on by menopause or hysterectomy. Lives get busier and many people don't have the time or energy for sexual activity because of jobs, kids, family obligations etc. As we age we also tend to become married/committed to someone and our masturbation levels drops because of our sexual partner (they may ask us not to, they may feel hurt or rejected if you masturbate instead of having sex with them, we may not have the sexual energy to have partnered sex and solo sex at the same time period, etc.).
- Medical Conditions: Women especially notice their sex drive changes with their cycles on a monthly basis. But our overall hormonal levels and makeup also affect our sex drive. Women who have Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) or other hormonal imbalances, which tend to cause them to have less estrogen and more testosterone, may have a higher sex drive. Women on hormonal birth control methods may also notice a change. In addition to these, other medical factors affect sexual drive and performance such as taking psychotropic medications (anti-depressants have a nasty habit of decreasing sex drive drastically), medications for high blood pressure (cause negative performance issues for men), and chronic health conditions (like immune disorders, chronic pain, high blood pressure, and diabetes) can all drastically decrease your sex life too.
- Mental Health: People who suffer from depression or Bipolar may notice that their sex drive drops when they are in a depressed period. Other people may notice the opposite... their sex drive might increase during these rough times because they are seeking a "high" from the sex. Just a brief bit of feeling happy and normal and alive when the rest of their world seems out of control. This can be a dangerous pattern to get into because it can be a sign of sexual addiction. Other people notice that certain time of the year may be less sexually safe for them due to their own trauma history and triggers.
How do you being to figure out if your sexual activity patterns are healthy or might be unhealthy? That's my next article... "How do you try to define "healthy"sexual habits?"
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