Switching as a married couple of Multiples?

Q: Have there ever been times, or are there still times now, when you and your husband "split" into one of your alters simultaneously, so it's actually one alter talking to another? I would imagine that if you have two child-alters dealing with each other, that could pose a problem. For example, what if you guys are taking a road trip somewhere, or maybe trying to handle business at a bank or at a store, and these alters come out? If both alters are really young, how would you be able to drive or deposit money or pay for items at a grocery store? - Craig

A: First of all, let's clarify some terminology. Splitting is the creation of new alters, which for the most part takes place in childhood and teenage/young adulthood years. The older you get, typically the harder it is to create new alters. Most Multiples tend to stop being able to create new alters (not fragments) in their teens (unless traumatic events/abuse continue to happen). Switching is the chancing of who is present or in control of the physical body.

Switching alters isn't really that difficult to understand as a singleton. You have an internal mechanism, or conscious, that lets you know when different behaviors are allowed or appropriate. When you can hug certain people, use curse words in front of other people, when you have to be "all business" and when you can "let your hair down." Most people with Dissociative Identity Disorder also have an internal mechanism or group of alters that help control when switching can be allowed or forced. This allows safety and function, so that young alters don't suddenly appear while the body is driving a car but they are more than welcome to come out when watching a kid's movie at home. It also helps ensure that someone is available to deal with crisis situations, such as strong or assertive alters being able to be called into action when other alters feel unsafe or fear that the body is in danger. This system usually works very well, which allows many people with DID to be highly functional and appear normal. But there can be times when internal stress is very high, or when a system of alters hasn't learned to cooperate, that this can fail to happen.

Being a married couple of Multiples means we usually have a good balance of being able to have similar types of alters interact,and also being able to have a supportive or adult alter available when the other person has a scared or young alter out. With any married couple there is a natural fluctuation of roles and care-taking behaviors that help ensure that both partners have turns being supportive and supported; whether that is physically, emotionally, or financially. There are long periods of neutral functioning, but also times when one or the other of us needs extra TLC.